Trump Fires NFL After Hall of Fame Game Fails to Mention Him

“They inducted 7 people and not one was me. SAD!”

CANTON, OH — Former President Donald Trump took to Truth Social in a late-night tirade Thursday, declaring he had “fired the NFL” after watching the Hall of Fame Game and noticing, with growing rage, that not a single inductee thanked him, nor did the league “honor his greatness” during the broadcast.

“You induct a bunch of linemen, announcers, even a kicker—but NO Trump?” he wrote in all caps. “I’ve done more for football than any president. I made the NFL relevant again. I stood up to the woke kneelers. And this is how they repay me?”

The night’s ceremony celebrated the enshrinement of seven players, coaches, and executives—but failed to include a segment dedicated to Trump’s 1980s purchase of a failing USFL franchise, his tweets about Colin Kaepernick, or the time he threw a football once during a high school visit in 2004.

Broadcast Offenses Cited in Trump’s “Firing”:

• Zero camera shots of Mar-a-Lago

• No “Trump stats” graphic shown during halftime

• One commentator described a coach as “great,” without clarifying “but not as great as Trump”

• A moment of silence for a deceased linebacker, but not for “the death of free speech on the internet”

“It was a disgrace,” Trump said on Truth Social. “They had 3 hours to say ‘Thank you, President Trump,’ and they blew it. Very disloyal. If Tom Brady were there, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Trump’s Demands for Future Games:

• Mandatory Trump tribute video before kickoff

• Hall of Fame bust of Trump “next to Reagan or something”

• Replace the Lombardi Trophy with the Trump Freedom Ball

• Declare January 6th a “Day of Playoff Reflection”

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell responded, “We don’t know what to say. He’s never coached. Never played. Never owned a team that survived. But we do wish him well.”

Former kicker Adam Vinatieri, now in the Hall of Fame, simply shrugged:

“I don’t know, man. I’ve never seen someone this mad about not getting a jacket.”

Trump has since vowed to launch his own league, tentatively named the Patriot Football Confederation, where:

• All touchdowns must be followed by a pledge of loyalty to him

• Players wear only red, white, and golf tan

• Every game ends in a Trump victory, no matter the score
  

“If they can put Tony Romo in a booth and not me in the Hall of Fame, it’s clear this league hates America.”