Trump Threatens to Fire Google After Web Browser Suggests He May Have Lied

“Totally unfair. Google should autocomplete with: ‘Trump—very honest man, very handsome.’”

BEDMINSTER, NJ — Former President Donald Trump has announced his intention to "fire Google from America" after the search engine had the audacity to suggest he may have lied in one of its autocomplete results.

“I typed ‘has Trump ever’ and boom—it fills in ‘lied,’” Trump told supporters at a press event held in front of a shattered Chromebook. “That’s defamation by algorithm. It should say ‘won the election’ or ‘dated supermodels,’ but instead? Fake search.”

Trump accused Google of being a “hostile tech cartel” and threatened to replace it with “a better, more loyal search engine” developed by **Truth Social interns and maybe Elon Musk if he behaves.”

According to insiders, Trump became visibly agitated after accidentally typing “has trum” into the browser bar and watching “has Trump lied” appear as the top suggestion. He immediately launched into what aides describe as a 20-minute tirade against AI, facts, and ‘left-wing punctuation.’

💬 Reactions from the Trump Orbit:

Eric Trump, confused but eager, tweeted:

“We’re switching to Bing. Dad says it’s like Google but with less deep state energy.”

Kari Lake issued a statement claiming Google’s search bar was “clearly manipulated by dominion code left behind in the JavaScript.”

And Steve Bannon, livestreaming from an undisclosed barn, blamed the autocomplete feature on “data harvested by Hillary’s lizard syndicate and weaponized by Anthony Fauci’s clone.”

Trump’s Suggested Autocomplete Replacements Include:

• “Has Trump saved America again”

• “Has Trump ever been wrong (no)”

• “Has Trump invented the vaccine, golf, or steak?”

🔧 Proposed Executive Action: “Search Integrity Act”

In a late-night Truth Social post, Trump claimed he would ban all negative search suggestions and install a new federal “Search Integrity Czar,” potentially a former contestant from The Apprentice.

“It’s time to take back our browsers. This is why we need to weaponize the FCC, the FBI, and if necessary, the Food Network,” he wrote.

When asked by reporters how one “fires” a web browser, Trump replied:

“We fired Comey, didn’t we? Google’s next.”